I will have to admit that I have been on a little bit of a motivational, self help kick lately. Thanks Tony Robbins… I dedicate this post to you.
Anyway, he got me thinking about all the ways in which to make the world a better place and it occurred to me that maybe we don’t need another Mother Theresa.
I mean think about it.
Some people in this world are so poor and fucked up that a bowl of soup and a band aid isn’t going to do fuck all but maybe keep them alive long enough to breed and make more poor fucked up people.
I propose we aim our world changing energies a little bit higher and focus on places that will really make a difference. A real impact on the world and it’s future potential.
And who better to force this change, but porn stars?
Seriously. Think about it.
There is this show in Europe called something like “The Model and the Geek” where these super hot German model chicks take some sorry assed nerd, gets him a haircut and some nice clothes and teach him how to do normal social skills stuff like, dance with or talk to girls without blowing snot bubbles or snorting when he laughs. Shit like that.
The problem with this show is that the model never gives it up and the poor guy does all this shit for nothing. I mean what kind of fucked up non motivation is this? It’s kind of sick…
Anyway, here is what I propose instead.
Problem:
There’s this store I walk by in the town where I live (most towns have something similar) that is filled with pimply faced, socially challenged men who sit around tables filled with mini soldiers and warriors and dragons and spend their lives snort laughing and squealing like girls over unlimited supplies of fantasy based gamer distractions.
Dont get me wrong. These guys are usually geniuses. Unfortunately most of them are just misguided and lack the proper goals and focus it takes to do anything positive besides pick their nose and slay a 5th level demon lord from their custom built gamer chair in their mom’s basement.
Future leaders of the world, confident decision makers and captains of industry?
Fuck no… what a waste grey matter.
Solution:
What if say, Stormy Daniels waltzed into that store one day, picked the nerdiest, most virginest looking one of the bunch and made him a proposition that went something like this:
“Look dipshit. I’m going to make you a deal, right here, in front of all your loser friends that just might change your life for the better.”
“If you agree to take your backpack full of video games and dungeon master guidebooks, your World of Warcraft, your pro wrestling action figures, your klingon sword collection, your Batman bed sheets, your pleated acid washed jeans with your comic book character t-shirt tucked into them, your lunch box with the Capri Sun sippy packs that your mom packed for you even though you are already in college and throw ALL OF IT into this garbage can right here and LIGHT IT ALL ON FIRE and promise you will never look back…”
“If you do that…”
“I will fuck you once a month for a year.”
“BUT if I so much as sniff a 20 sided dice on you once, mother fucker, the deal is off, and you will forever be ridiculed by me, publicly as an official dumb shit for life.”
How is that for motivation? I fully support this!
In fact, I propose that all porn stars make it their life’s duty to pull the straw out of their nose, just for one day a month and commit their time to helping save humanity and create strong, virile, sexually confident leaders.
The fate of the world lies in your hands porn stars. It really does.
Lets make May 27th “National Pornstar Fuck a Geek and Make Him a Man Day”?
Are you with me porn stars? Lets save the world!!!
What do you think? I welcome your comments.
